I need a change.
I need to learn to love myself. My flaws. My bad habits. My quirks. What I excel at. What I struggle with. My inside. My out. My insecurities. Every freckle. Every stretch mark. Every piece of my heart that feels broken. The sadness. The bitterness. The fear. The joy. The compassion.
Everything that is me.
This is something I astriggle with daily. Ever since I was little I have always felt like people will give up on me. It’s been a fear of mine. Abandonment. The sad thing is I am the one who is quickest to give up on me. 😔
I feel like I need to come with a warning label when people come into my life.
Or maybe I am just damaged & defective in general. I say this for a couple reasons, but right now I want to focus on what kind of friend I am.
I am the kind of friend who will be all in. You will get my 100%. Provided I “let you in”. I am loyal & will give you the shirt off my back.
Until I feel like there is a chance I can get hurt. Then I become distant. My wall starts to grow to prevent myself from feeling emotional pain. This is something I battle with often. This is something I feel like I will battle with for the rest of my life.
This is a battle I am currently losing. 😔