Bricks.

I haven’t posted in a loooonnnggg time. A lot has been going on, etc. etc. more excuses.

I feel like I have a ton of bricks sitting on my chest right now. Yesterday my husband was diagnosed with MS. This is following weeks of appointments which followed a week long hospital stay. To say I’m stressed is an understatement.

I’ve been crying daily. I can’t even control it. Sometimes 5 minutes here & there. Monday it lasted about an hour & a half. The thing is. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR BREAKDOWNS!!! I have to work & take care of my kids & do my school work.

How do people function daily when they feel this way? & before meds are suggested…yup, already on them.

I just need to be able to breath.

Literally.

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Empty.

I am constantly yearning for something that is missing. A closeness, a bond with someone. With anyone. I feel as though I’ve become desperate for this. But why? I am surrounded by people who I have a bond with. Hell, I have a husband. I have just felt so distant from everyone lately. I have even begun to miss friendships that ended years ago. Friendships that did not end in a good note. I have wondered why I am not satisfied with those relationships I have around me. What am I looking for that WILL leave me feeling satisfied? Shouldn’t I find that satisfaction within?